The new Illumicrate has arrived and it was a heavy one.
The book in the box is Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones and it looks like a good ‘un. Inspired by the author’s love of the film Labyrinth yes, the one with David Bowie in those trousers. There’s also a note from the author and a bookmark.
As well as that book, there is also a sampler from an upcoming book and an advanced reader copy of Mark Lawrence’s soon to be published Red Sister (a review of which is upcoming).
There’s a whole bundle of other book based goodies too.
There are fridge magnets with quotes from V.E. Schwab’s books.
A really cute pouch featuring Baloo the bear from The Jungle Book and a Magic and Mischief lipbalm.
There is also a Newt Scamander bookmark, as well as the usual freebies promoting some interesting looking upcoming books and discount codes at the included shops.
I was really pleased with this box – I have already read one of the books included and am about to read the next one.
This is my incredibly scatter brained approach to wedding planning. My wedding is about 18 months away now, but I started planning a while after C proposed. I wasn’t one of those girls who planned their dream wedding as a kid so I’ve had to learn a lot fast.
💍Get engaged. Or decide to get married. If photoshoots are your thing or a party, do that. We got a new fridge. So rock ‘n’ roll.
👰Are you going to have a long engagement? Or do you want to get married relatively soon? If it’s the second- pick a date. C and I very romantically picked a date a month and a day after C’s birthday so he wouldn’t forget our anniversary.
🎁Set a budget. Are you paying for it or is there some money set aside? I had no idea my Dad had been saving since I was a baby, and that has really helped with paying deposits.
👱Guestlist time! Who do you want to share your day with? Do you want bridesmaids/groomsmen or even bridesmen or groomswomen?
💒 Start looking at venues. Popular ones can be booked up very quickly. Depending on what kind of wedding you want, this can affect your venue choices. We are having a traditional church wedding and then a big knees up, very relaxed and informal to follow.
🌹Once you have sorted the venue – start looking at vendors like florists, photographers etc. I actually found my photographer before I picked our reception venue. Again, try not to leave this too late as popular vendors get heavily booked, especially at peak times of the year.
🎪What fun features do you want? A photobooth maybe, a band, lawn games? I suggest visiting wedding and event fairs to try these out or look online. Again, once you know what you want – book it.
🎉Pinterest is your friend. Build inspiration boards for just about anything. I also use Etsy to look for ideas.
💌Time to send out Save the Dates – most people seem to send these 18 months to a year before the wedding. I plan to send my invitations out about 6 months before so StDs are vital in making sure the people we want there the most can start making plans.
🎂 Cake tastings are a great way to decide what you want- look online for ideas – most wedding cake makers are really happy to work with you on designs and flavours.
❤Are you writing your own vows? What about readings? Research some ideas and work with your intended and celebrant to put your service together.
There’s lots more to do, from picking out outfits, deciding on hair and make up and designing menus. But I haven’t quite got that far yet and as my planning is a bit topsy-turvy I can’t really say what I’m going to do next.
Any tips from married folks or engaged types are always welcome in the comments.
The images are all from Pinterest – search ‘weddings’ for similar inspiration.
This new beauty box, named after the founder’s canine chum, is all about championing cruelty free beauty. 50p from each box has been donated to Cruelty Free International.
Inside are five cruelty free and vegan friendly beauty treats.
Bloomtown Botanicals Nourishing Mini Soap (RRP £1.40) – made in small batches with plant oils and butters, this vegan friendly Soap comes in a whole range of scents.
Akamuti Green Clay Face Mask (RRP £2) – sundries green clay that you mix yourself to make a purifying face mask that is suitable for sensitive and problem skin.
Saturated Colour Lip Vinyl Liquid Lipstick in Frisky Fuchsia (RRP £7) – a deep pink shade in a liquid lipstick – something of a recent beauty trend.
PHB Ethical Beauty Black Mascara & Nearly Black Eyeliner (RRP £24.70) – both award winning formulas that complement each other. Made with botanical oils and water resistant, suitable for sensitive eyes.
There are discount codes in the box for PHB and Saturated Colour.
For a first beauty box this is well balanced in terms of skincare and make up – and fullsize items to boot.
On Saturday my Mother Dearest and I went to the National Wedding Show at the Kensington Olympia. I won tickets through an Instagram competition hosted by the lovely Kat from Rock ‘n’ Roll Bride.
Goody bag
There were many freebies on offer, including a goody bag for every ticket holder. Now I love a freebie but some of these were a little problematic – more on that later.
According to the brochure there were more than 250 vendors present, offering everything from wedding dresses to confetti, cakes made of cheese to flowers.
It was a bit overwhelming, weddings are big, big business, and the centre was heaving with brides to be, their mothers, bridesmaids and the occasional bewildered groom to be.
Will this turn into a really tiny pumpkin?
There was a Groom Room full of suits and very fancy cars, which C would have loved except he refused to come with me (but did take a Best Man to look at suits).
I took my Mum – and she was having a ball. I now know I get my love of a freebie from, she’s been married for 37 years, but oh she was lapping up everything we were offered.
Some of the freebies I gathered
I tried on a flower crown (definitely having one of those), looked at dresses, flowers, table settings, entered every competition going (please can I have a free holiday), tried cakes, looked at fascinators for Mum, discussed my engagement, our wedding plans and the colour scheme about a million times, are more cake, and looked at about a thousand dresses.
Fistfuls of leaflets, brochures and business cards
I totally failed to take any photos, there was just too much.
Wedding magazines galore
Now I want to talk about something that has already annoyed me beyond belief and my Mum decided to bring up several times too.
The wedding industry is fixated on a very particular type of bride – slim, conventionally pretty, and white. There was very little diversity on show.
Where were the dresses for fuller figured brides? Where was the ethnic mix of London being represented? What about the lesbian and genderqueer brides?
Every picture of a bride could have been of the exact same girl. The only suits were tailored for men. There was no suggestion of same sex weddings. I saw no pictures of black or Asian brides, no temples, synagogues, churches or mosques.
Now, I’m sure a lot of the vendors present would happily work with a wide range of wedding couples, after all, business is business. But I can’t imagine how alienating this vision of skinny, perfect whiteness must be.
My Mum pointed out that the wedding dresses were stuck in the past – women on the whole are bigger than before – the average dress size is a 16, but so many of the dresses were designed to fit slim, small-breasted, narrow hipped women. Where is my wide hipped, rugby player shouldered self going to get a dress? (I have ideas, but there was nothing for me there – I didn’t see anything on display above a 12).
The other issues we had revolved around this idea of being perfect- teeth whitening services, professional makeovers, all conforming to a standard not everyone can achieve.
My mum was also horrified by all the weight loss products on offer. In the goody bag offered to everyone were weight loss shakes, tea, biscuit bars and offers for discounts on these and other products.
At a time when even 8 year olds are suffering body image issues, when eating disorders are on the rise, when the standards of beauty are ridiculous, the pressure on the engaged women (and men) is insane.
A wedding is pretty stressful anyway, dealing with vendors, venues, family politics, negotiating everything you want, wrestling with a budget – you name it, it needs to be done. Yes, there are loads of tools, apps, websites etc to help you, but it’s still a lot to take on.
And then on top of that the pressure to lose weight, to be made perfect, because obviously your fiancé doesn’t want to marry you as you are – but some ridiculous impossible image of some other you.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best – to have your hair and make up done, to wear an outfit you feel (and look) fab in, but there is something wrong with feeling pressured to change everything about you to fit into a box.
When my parents got married (37 years and still both alive), there wasn’t nearly as much of this extreme pressure on young women before their weddings. And it really casts a pall over the excitement of it all.
When I was 17 I got my first weekend job – I was a waitress. Luckily the restaurant I worked in was nothing like as claustrophobic as the one Tess works in in this book.
Tess is 22 and newly arrived in New York, like me she read English Literature at uni but unlike me she’s not really a city girl.
She gets sucked in to the swirl of drinking, drug taking, bickering and family meals of the restaurant, and even more so into the lives of Simone and Jake.
The writing is fluid, like quicksilver, Tess is a unreliable narrator, my favourite kind, filtering everything through her own self-interest.
I really enjoyed this book, Danler’s first, and look forward to seeing what she does next.
The other day I read a really preachy article (which I don’t have a link to) about why the writer, as a feminist, wouldn’t wear an engagement ring.
Now I strongly believe that everyone has a right to their own opinion but the tone of the piece and the fact that she was using feminism as her reason really annoyed me.
I’m a feminist. I believe in equality, equity of the sexes, and a woman’s right to choose what she does with her life and her body. My mum instilled these beliefs in me growing up.
However, I don’t feel like those beliefs preclude me from wearing my engagement ring.
I am aware of the original symbolism of wedding rings and the whole patriarchal problematic wedding traditions. But I don’t see the engagement ring on my left hand as a symbol of ownership.
Nobody, least of all C, owns me. I am my own person, regardless of marital status.
I see it instead as a symbol of commitment, of a promise to be a team, to stick together, to be a family. I see it as C’s love and mine for him. We’re going to get married, be together for good, legally bound and all that jazz. Not because society says so, but because we want to.
And that doesn’t contradict my feminism. This is my choice. Isn’t that what women have been fighting for all these years – the ability to make their own choices?
Instead of the standard box, this month is a canvas bag, designed to be reusable.
Inside are a variety of things designed to help you start afresh in a new year.
There’s a cute little journal, without dates, so you can start it whenever.
There’s a cute printed infinity scarf or snood.
The final lifestyle item is a set of inspirational postcards, suggesting ways to get fresh starts in the different aspects of your life.
Then there’s the selection of beauty treats.
Merci Handy Holy Mint Toothpaste – I’ve only had antibacterial hand gel from this brand before and I’m really particular about toothpaste so I don’t know whether I’ll use this.
Garnier Ultimate Blends Strength Restorer Balm – this is a tiny sample of hair mask containing royal jelly and honey. I’ll hang on to it for a really bad hair day.
My Little Beauty Boost Yourself Body Cream & Sweet Hand Cream – two items from MLB’s own beauty range. These both snell inoffensive and having had several other skincare items from this range I know they’re pretty standard stuff.
MLB has decided to scrap their My Little World magazine for good, in favour of things like the inspiration postcards and journal.
The box is back next month, which is good as the bag is all well and good but required extra packaging to keep it safe.
This box is so luxe- and will with things to give you a boost during the rotten cold winter months.
I love that each box is personalised and that the team at Moi-Meme do the same with the contents.
There are five lovely things in the box and I can’t pick a favourite.
Lola’s Apothecary Bath & Shower Oil (RRP £34 100ml) – this oil (Delicate Romance) contains rose, sweet orange, lemon, geranium, as well as several other skin loving ingredients. You only need a teaspoon for a bath or shower, so this will last a while. Based in Devon, the products are hand blended in small batches for the best quality. This smells delicious and soon so will I.
Potion London The Beauty Formula (RRP £25 60 tablets – 1 a day) – with 19 vitamins and minerals these skin, hair and nail supplement tablets are developed to promote clear skin, strong nails and silky hair. Stocked in Harvey Nichols exclusively (and online), it’s only been around since July last year. It would be really great to see if these help my brittle, peeling nails.
Pia Rossini Monroe Faux Fur Snood (RRP £30, available in 7 colours) – lined with soft fleece, this ridiculously stroke-able snood is warm and cosy. There are matching accessories available online. I am wearing this in my living room – the boiler’s broken and can guarantee it’s warmth. Based in Northern Ireland, the husband and wife team cover all seasons with everything from faux fur to beachwear.
Portico Designs A6 Monogram Notebook (RRP £8) – this stationery brand produce gorgeous products for brands including Wedgwood, Monsoon and Roald Dahl, as well as their own designs – like these gorgeous notebooks, which come in a range of colours. A 25 year old, Bath based company, their lovely things make brilliant presents. As someone who is always scribbling things down, this arrived at a perfect time.
Coco Chocolatier Organic Chocolate Bar (RRP £4.50 for 80g) – Caramel, Hazelnut and Isle of Skye sea salt milk chocolate – an artisan chocolate bar from Edinburgh with really lovely packaging, combining some of my favourite things – sorry I don’t share!
Are you a subscriber? Do you love these boxes too?
You know where I am, wearing my snood and eating chocolate.
Crafty Creatives #paperhaul this is a great box for stationery nerds like me. Every month you get a themed box of notecards, stickers or washi tape, notepaper, a notebook and postcards or wrapping paper.
I ❤Homes #happymail box is a monthly box full of lovely little bits and bobs. There’s a theme and always a selection of things for you, your home and gifts.
Prudence and the Crow send out a vintage paperback and other book related goodies including library cards, stationery, tea, sweets and stickers in pretty printed envelopes.
E-book or physical book? – Physical, let’s get physical.
Paperback or hardback? – both, although paperbacks hurt less when you drop them on your face.
Online or in-store book shopping? Book shops are my crack but I do use the old interwebs as there are no bookshops near me (and Smiths doesn’t count).
Trilogies or series? – Depends on the book, some writers need a series to develop the story, others not so much.
Heroes or Villians? – unreliable narrators.
A book you want everyone to read? – Girls on Fire by Robin Wasserman. Damn does she perfectly capture teenage girls and their crazy.
Recommend an underrated author? – Tamora Pierce. Go, read everything she’s written. Do it now.
The last book you finished? – Too Close for Comfort – not the best thriller I’ve read but ok.
Weirdest thing you’ve used as a bookmark? – A dollar bill.
Used books: Yes or no? – yes.
Top three favourite genres? – Fantasy, crime thriller, literary fiction.
Borrow or buy? – these days buy, but only because my library card won’t let me in and the librarians are now all robots.
Character or plot? – you need both.
Long or short books? – totally depends on the story.
Name the first three books you think of – Danny the Champion of the World- Roald Dahl, The Bees – , The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde – Robert Louis Stephenson.
Books that make you laugh or cry? – Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books – I can’t read them anywhere public, I laugh until I cry.
Our world or fictional? – Fictional – our world is a mess and I need an escape.
Audiobooks: yes or no? – I have an Audible account, I should really use it more…
Do you ever judge a book by its cover? – of course, we all do, whatever we claim.
Book to movie or book to tv? – No. Although Series of Unfortunate Events the series trumps the movie.
A movie or tv show that you preferred to the book? – this has not happened.
Series or standalones? – depends on my mood.
Please join in and let me know in the comments if you’re playing.
