blog tour, books, reviews

Blog Tour: Win or Die – Darren O’Sullivan

One week. Nineteen thousand pounds. A dangerous game. Can she win or will she die?

Since their parents died, Cassie and Sam only have each other. And now Sam is in trouble.
Sam has got involved with the wrong guys and he owes them money. When he is found beaten and bloody, Cassie knows these people will stop at nothing.
Sam has one week to find nineteen thousand pounds.

There’s only one way to make that much money that fast: DareMe — a new social media craze that is sweeping the nation, where players film themselves completing reckless dares for money.
The only way Cassie can help Sam is to join the game.But the deeper Cassie gets into the dares, the more dangerous they become.
Soon, Cassie isn’t just playing for money, she’s playing for her life.

A breathless, nail-biting thriller, perfect for fans of John Marrs, Blake Crouch, Squid Game and Black Mirror

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Darren O’Sullivan is a bestselling author, screen writer and award-nominated theatre director.
His books have sold over 150,000 copies and been translated into German and Polish and sold into America, Canada and Australia. Two of his novels were selected for the prestigious Karin Slaughter Bookclub. Darren has also contributed a short story, The Big Burn Bookclub, to
EVERYDAY KINDNESS, a 2021 up-lit anthology with proceeds going to Shelter. Darren also writes under a pseudonym, B.B. Thomas. B.B’.s first book The Rain published in 2021 exclusively for Audible and was an editor’s choice.
His first novel, Our Little Secret, is optioned by Rollick Film, and he is credited as the writer/director of the feature film.

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My thoughts: While I don’t think I would have the guts to do what Cass does, risking everything undertaking dares on a social media app, even for my younger sister (sorry), you have to admire her determination and survival instincts, especially when things take a darker turn and her very life is at risk. All she wanted to do was get Sam out from under the terrible mistake he made, but now she’s being hunted across Peterborough and she has no real idea why.

Working out who to trust is impossible, even people who would otherwise never dream of harming another person could be willing for the life changing amount of money being offered. But what is it that the mystery man/woman behind this shocking dare really wants? Surely Cass’ death isn’t their end game.

Twisted, clever and with a protagonist I really rooted for, this will keep you hooked till the very last page.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour, but all opinions remain my own.

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Blog Tour: The Imminent Return of History – Catalina Matei

We’re celebrating the release of The release of The Imminent Return of History this week with a tour and international giveaway!

The Imminent Return of History (Vials of Fate Book 2)

Publication Date: April 15, 2025

Genre: Dark Fantasy

•Dragons
•Fated mates
•War
•Found family
•Hidden truths
•Banter
•Strong FMC
•Dual POV
•Magical creatures

In a world shaped by the rippling effects of war, free will became the chain that tied a king’s vanity to his greed.

Having survived her trials, Tiadola discovered that appearances were deceiving. As secrets unravel, she must navigate the darkness clouding her mind while fighting for a chance at happiness with Zadrohn.

History repeats itself as magic and power intertwine, shifting the tides in King Tuddn’s favour. The looming war between humans and Soronians is inevitable, and every conflict demands a victor.

Outnumbered and overpowered, yet resolute, can Tiadola and Zadrohn secure the human nation’s independence, or will their efforts crumble under the weight of forces beyond their control?

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

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Blog Tour: A Desert of Bleeding Sand – Lucia Damisa

We’re celebrating the newly released romantasy A Desert of Bleeding Sand by Lucia Damisa!

A Desert of Bleeding Sand: A Rivals to Lovers Romantasy

Release Date: March 27, 2025

Genre: Romantasy

🏜️ Elite military academies
🏜️ Found family & witty banter
🏜️ Court intrigue & mythic races
🏜️ Slowww burn rivals-to-lovers
🏜️ Sprawling, desert world

In a glittering Sahara Desert palace, many have come to die…

I am Zair, reviled, half-blooded, and dangerous. Aziza magic coils in my veins like a curse, and for that, they fear me. But I will not stand by while traitors attack my academy and vanish with its students, especially as my sister is targeted.
They sent me to the palace as a student envoy to the king’s coronation, but I know the truth. I’m a weapon, a spy cloaked in silk and suspicion, sent to unmask those behind the disappearances. The air is thick with secrets, and the palace feels alive, pulsing with night magic and silent menace.

Then I meet him. Dathan. A rival spy from another academy—sharp-eyed, clever, cunning, and deadly. I don’t trust him, and I shouldn’t want him. But the pull between us is maddening, dangerous, a flame I cannot smother.
As more students vanish and shadows stir in every corridor, we have no choice but to join forces. Yet every moment spent together fractures my resolve.

In a palace where ambition poisons the air and betrayal hides behind every smile, I must unravel the truth before time runs out—while guarding my heart against the one man who could ruin more than the mission… he could destroy me.

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Blog Tour: Seven Days in Tokyo – José Daniel Alvior

Two strangers meet in Manhattan and spend a perfect night together. In Tokyo, they have seven days to see if that one night might mean something more.

Landon’s living alone in Tokyo as a British ‘expat’, Louie’s visiting while he anxiously waits for approval on his US visa. Against the backdrop of a misty Tokyo Spring, their precious time together is spent wandering into side streets and coffee shops, sharing unmade beds and plates of food. But as the days tick by, Louie’s expectations start to overtake reality and he falls too deeply for a life that’s not yet his.

Breathtakingly tender, Seven Days in Tokyo is an astonishing debut about the intricacies of desire and a search for belonging. It is a lyrical, immersive portrait of how some things, however beautiful and profound, are destined to be as short-lived as the cherry blossoms.

My thoughts: This is a lyrical, but rather melancholy book, Louie is in Tokyo for a brief few days, where he sees friends, the cherry blossom and tries to fathom out Landon, the Brit he met in New York, but who never really shares much of himself.

Louie doesn’t want to go back to the Philippines for good, but if his American visa doesn’t clear, he will have to, and his brief relationship with Landon, with its deadline of a week, both captures him and confuses him. Landon pushes him away, treats him so casually, but yet, sleeps soundly in his presence and cooks for him, sharing a single plate.

The relationship Louie has with Tokyo, how he falls for the neighbourhood he stays in, with the things he discovers and learns, the beauty of the place, feels much deeper and on leaving, more heartbreaking than leaving Landon. He might well return to Japan, but not to the man.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour, but all opinions remain my own.

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Blog Tour: Dangerous – Essie Fox

Fiction can be fatal…

Living in exile in Venice, the disgraced Lord Byron revels in the freedoms of the city. But when he is associated with the deaths of local women, found with wounds to their throats, and then a novel called The Vampyre is published under his name, rumours begin to spread that Byron may be the murderer…

As events escalate and tensions rise – and his own life is endangered, as well as those he holds most dear – Byron is forced to play detective, to discover who is really behind these heinous crimes. Meanwhile, the scandals of his own infamous past come back to haunt him…

Rich in gothic atmosphere and drawing on real events and characters from Byron’s life, Dangerous is a riveting, dazzling historical thriller, as decadent, dark and seductive as the poet himself…

Essie Fox was born and raised in rural Herefordshire, which inspires much of her writing. After studying English Literature at Sheffield University, she moved to London where she worked for the Telegraph Sunday Magazine, and then book publishers George Allen & Unwin, before becoming self-employed in the world of art and design.

Essie now spends her time writing historical gothic novels. Her debut, The Somnambulist, was shortlisted for the National Book Awards, and featured on Channel 4’s TV Book Club. The Last Days of Leda Grey, set in the early years of silent film, was selected as The Times Historical Book of the Month. Essie’s Victorian gothic novel, The Fascination, debuted at number 10 on the Sunday Times bestseller list, and was widely acclaimed.

Essie is also the creator of the popular blog: The Virtual Victorian. She has lectured on this era at the V&A, and the National Gallery in London. She lives in Windsor.

My thoughts: Growing up in Harrow, I developed a soft spot for Lord George Gordon Byron – who spent some of his happiest years at the eponymous school up on the Hill. His daughter, Allegra is buried there and there is a memorial plaque to him on the lookout point. He would have been buried there too, except the vicar at the time refused.

Essie Fox’s book explores some of his time in exile in Venice. Allegra was sent by her mother (Claire Claremont, Mary Shelley’s step-sister) to live with him, his servants and his collection of cantankerous pets (monkeys do not belong in palazzos). 

Byron is weary, jaded and working on Don Juan, which will only add to Lady Caroline Lamb’s (another former mistress) assessment of his as “mad, bad, and dangerous to know”. 

Dr John Polidori, once Byron’s personal physician, has resurfaced, and a lot of people mistake him for the English poet, despite the lack of a limp (Byron’s club foot was pretty noticeable). His book The Vampyre, inspired by a scrap Byron wrote on the infamous Lake Geneva trip with the Shelleys, is also being touted as Byron’s. Which sends him into a fury. How can anyone compare the two?

Then a young woman is found murdered outside a salon Byron attended, there are claims that he is a vampire, that Polidori’s book is Byron’s autobiography in disguise. Especially after another young prostitute is killed, while Byron sleeps beside her, in a brothel.

Byron knows he is no killer, but someone is out to frame him. He is arrested, thrown in gaol, unable to prove his innocence. Thankfully his good friend Hobhouse has come to visit, and with Polidori’s help, he escapes and begins to investigate these claims against him. They seem to centre on two women – a Countess and a courtesan turned brothel keeper. With the help of those loyal to him, gondolier Tita, an orphan he has taken in, and even a former mistress, he resolves to expose his enemies, clear his name and rescue Allegra who has fallen into the clutches of his nemesis.

This is a very clever, very enjoyable book, making much of a short episode in Byron’s not very long, but very eventful life. It is only a few years before he will die in Greece, pursuing another adventure. He comes across much more sympathetically than he is often characterised. His biographers aren’t very fond of him, admittedly he was a terrible cad. But the Byron here is a loving father, a kind man, fond of children and animals, hopeless with women, loyal to his friends. It’s an interesting version of the infamous Lord. 

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour, but all opinions remain my own.

blog tour, books, reviews

Blog Tour: Maxwell’s Reality – M.J. Trow

Meet Peter Maxwell: film buff, golden-hearted cynic, bow-tied eccentric teacher . . . and reluctant amateur sleuth.

A reality TV crew descends on Leighford High . . . and Head of Sixth Form Peter Maxwell braces for disaster — but not murder.
The cameras pry into every corner of the school, exposing secrets better left buried. But when a member of the TV crew is found stabbed to death in the headteacher’s office, it’s clear the
real drama has only just begun.

Then a second crew member is found sprawled in Maxwell’s office. Murdered with the same  knife.
As Maxwell unravels the truth he finds himself facing a chilling reality: the murderer is still  watching, still waiting, and ready to kill again.

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M J Trow (the ‘M’ as most people know by now stands for Meirion, a Welsh name few can manage, so he writes as M J, is known by all and sundry as Mei, rhyming with ‘my’) has been writing for many years, with his first book – The Adventures of Inspector Lestrade – being published in 1984 by Macmillan. More Lestrades followed and then some true crime and
somehow it all snowballed so now he has many historical biographies and three other crime series (Maxwell, Marlowe and Grand and Batchelor, the latter two written with his wife, writing as Maryanne Coleman, though her name is Carol, actually!) to his credit.

He claims to be retired, but that’s just from teaching. In fact he has never been busier and is a sought after ‘ghost’ these days as well as historian and novelist, with many different subjects’ stories having been told through him. He has recently started collaborating on fiction projects (with someone other than his wife, that is) and finds it a really exciting and pleasurable experience.To relax he … actually, that’s a bit tricky, as he doesn’t really ever relax.

He has been known to garden, he is a keen cook and artist and likes to travel. This is rather easier these days as he is a popular
speaker on cruise ships – in fact his profile picture was taken on a very gusty day in Cape Town, setting off on a long voyage home to Southampton through some of the scariest seas he and his wife have had the pleasure to meet! It really was the calm before the storm, despite being a
Force 9 just leaving the Bay.

My thoughts: I can’t imagine anything worse than a film crew following you about your day, especially in a school. Although I admit I have found the end results quite intriguing (the Educating… series was quite good).

But murder, that’s a whole different set of problems. And a member of the film crew murdered in the head teacher’s office, isn’t a great start to this filming malarkey. In fact, the police pull the plug, at least for a while, and the teachers heave a sigh of relief, getting dozens of teenagers to just learn something isn’t easy.

But Maxwell, head of Sixth Form, history teacher, married to a detective, doesn’t leave it there. He does a bit more digging, unearths a few other secrets (gambling ring in the building manager’s office for starters) and gets clonked over the head for his troubles.

Then another member of the film crew is killed, in his office, while he’s off sick. What on earth is going on? He’s pretty sure even the most insufferable student isn’t a killer, but is it someone on the crew or closer to home?

Funny, clever and full of twists, I really enjoyed this and would love to know more about the mysterious Mrs B, computer genius and school cleaner.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour, but all opinions remain my own.

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Blog Tour: The Hero Virus – Russell Dumper


The Hero Virus tells the thrilling story of Chris Taylor, who is hanging on to life by a thread. Recently widowed, his only reason to carry on is his faithful Labrador, but even that doesn’t stop his willingness to gamble with death every day. When his companion suffers a violent demise, Taylor thinks he has nothing left to live for, until he discovers he has chanced upon a precious gift… when he gets very ill.

The sickness gives him powers and, fairly soon, the authorities are swooping on to the ever-increasing list of cases. The Hero Virus might be different to other illnesses, but it’s no less dangerous. The effect it has on the world, though, is wildly different to any other virus that has come before. The unique reaction of the human body to infection means that everyone wants it. And some will do anything to get it.

How do you stop a pandemic when there are people who will kill for the virus? How do you stop people getting infected when they’re willing to die for it? How do you stop the infected when they have abilities nobody has ever seen before?

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The Hero Virus is the second novel from Russell Dumper, after releasing Britannia Rises to widespread acclaim last year, winning him three categories in the 2024 Bookstagram Awards, for Debut Author, Thriller and Historical Fiction. He lives in the east of England with his family and still
has many more books in the pipeline. Next, he will be concentrating on The Britannia Series, more of which will be released in the near future.
Instagram handle – russ2000_uk

My thoughts: Chris has had a really terrible time, his wife and unborn baby were killed by a drunk driver, he’s struggling to find meaning in his life and then his beloved dog dies too. Falling ill is the last in a long line of bad things, and then he wakes up. Four days have passed and he’s bizarrely strong. Like super hero strong.

As more and more people become infected with this strange new virus – 50% develop powers, the other 50% tragically die, scientists are trying to solve it. A vaccine, a cure, anything, as it’s getting out of control. Some of the powers people develop are truly rubbish, others are extremely dangerous. And one man discovers he can absorb others’ new gifts. Could he be a cure? Or will he become a megalomaniac intent on world domination? Can Chris stop this from happening and will the scientists ever find a way to halt this virus and save lives? 

I liked Chris, he never loses his humanity, despite being patient zero and developing this new super strength. He just wants to live his life quietly and for as short a time as possible, considering his losses. Instead he’s being poked and prodded in the name of science, and then asked to basically save the world. Can a man be miserable in peace? 

The virus at first seems amazing, but people continue to be people, and are the worst. Trying to get infected in case you’re in the 50% who don’t die, and then your power is that you can make people piss themselves if you touch them? Sounds rubbish. (If you’ve seen the show Extraordinary you might see what I mean, some people’s powers are really crap).

And when they’re rounding up infected people and putting them into comas while the scientists try to unravel the virus? That’s not exactly better. I think I’d rather not bother.

This is an interesting exercise in what happens to people, some get greedy and one goes way, way too far, power corrupts and all that. But Chris remains a bastion of genuine niceness in all of this, yes being super strong is pretty cool, but it doesn’t make him an arrogant monster, and that’s really intriguing.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour, but all opinions remain my own.

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Blog Tour: Death in an English Village – Fliss Chester

When the family gardener is murdered near a site of legendary buried treasure, dog-lover and mystery-solver Cressida Fawcett is on the case!

1926, Sussex. The Honourable Cressida Fawcett is delighted to return to her parents’ rambling mansion to introduce them to her pug Ruby’s puppies. But when the pups go running off with Cressida in hot pursuit, they lead her to a bubbling stream – Hell’s Ditch. And the body of Bob the gardener is floating there, his outstretched hand clutching a soggy cheese and pickle sandwich.

Everyone assumes Bob died of natural causes. But when Cressida finds a glittering gold coin grasped in his other fist, she realises this is part of the long-hidden Saxon hoard. Was Bob struck down by the gold’s ancient curse? As Cressida interviews the colourful members of the local historical society, she learns that Bob had been boasting of new-found wealth, much to the annoyance of his wife, and perhaps deadly jealousy of the other members…

Luckily for Cressida, eminent historian Sir James Colston, friend of the family, arrives at the mansion with tantalising information on the whereabouts of the rest of the Saxon gold. He promises to tell all, but the very next day he collapses into his morning porridge…

To Cressida’s horror, Marian – Bob’s widow and her parents’ cook – is accused of poisoning both the porridge and Bob’s sandwich and is carted off to jail. But Cressida is sure the answers are buried in the past. Just how far would a history boffin or a hard-up local go for an ancient pot of gold? And can Cressida dig up the truth before poison worms its way into her family’s kitchen again?

An absolutely addictive, warm and witty whodunnit that will keep you reading late into the night, perfect for fans of Agatha Christie, T.E. Kinsey and Verity Bright.

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Fliss Chester lives in Surrey with her husband and writes historical cozy crime. When she is not killing people off in her 1940s whodunnits, she helps her husband, who is a wine merchant, run their business. Never far from a decent glass of something, Fliss also loves cooking (and writing up her favourite recipes on her blog), enjoying the beautiful Surrey and West Sussex countryside and having a good natter.

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My thoughts: Cressida is back, and my favourite detective pug, Ruby, has had six adorable puppies (chugs? Porgies?) who are causing havoc at Cressida’s parents’ country residence. They keep escaping and running wild, and then rounding them up, Cressida and her mother find the gardener, Bob, floating in the stream running through the estate. Sadly, he’s dead, and it’s not natural causes.

Cressida is on the case, and with Dotty and Alfred down for a visit, and keen to help out, she’s soon looking into Bob’s life, and his claims to have come into a tidy sum. His wife, Marian, the cook, doesn’t know anything about this. And then a house guest keels over at breakfast.

There’s a poisoner on the loose, and poor Marian is the chief suspect! But why would she kill her husband and her employer’s guest, historian Sir James? It doesn’t make any sense.

As Cressida and co investigate further, they find the motive might go a long way back to two pairs of lovebirds decades ago and a killer who hasn’t given up on true love.

Another clever whodunnit, with the delightful Cressida, Dotty and Alfred getting to grips with the case, and trying to wrangle some very wriggly puppies at the same time! Delightful.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour, but all opinions remain my own.

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Blog Tour: Felix Grey & the Descendant – Mario Theodorou

In this historical mystery, a string of abductions and rising tensions thrusts a young leader into a world of murky politics and dark secrets – written by award-winning BAFTA scriptwriter and film director, Mario Theodorou.


London, 1904.


Edward VII sits on the throne, the economy is faltering, and one of the youngest Prime Ministers in history has been thrust into office on the crest of a populist wave. Battling self-doubt and fierce opposition within the Commons, Felix Grey is plunged into a world of murky politics and hidden secrets when a lord is mysteriously abducted from a gentlemen’s club.


With tensions rising between the government and trade unions amidst a series of fatal factory disasters, Felix must quickly connect the dots between the missing politicians and the growing chaos in the country. A rapidly escalating chain of events is threatening to tear apart Parliament and Nation…


Can Felix crack the case and protect his country, or will he bear witness to a grim repetition of history?

About the Author

Mario Theodoru is an award-winning screenwriter, director, and author known for his diverse body of work across both comedy and drama. Selected for the BBC’s prestigious Drama Writer’s Programme, he was named one of the BBC’s 200 emerging talents on their Hotlist. His original commissions include projects for BBC Drama and Sky, and his radio drama The Cyprus Missing aired on BBC Radio 4 and BBC America. Mario’s short films Anonymous, Echo, and The Gifted Hypothesis have garnered numerous awards, selections and nominations at Oscar, BAFTA, and BIFA-qualifying film festivals. His accolades include Best Drama at Cannes Shorts, Best Narrative Short and Best Male Actor at FIFF, as well as a nomination for the Short Film Award at the Oscar-qualifying Austin Film Festival and selection for the Oscar-qualifying Flickers Rhode Island Film Festival. Mario attended Saginaw Valley State University in Michigan and taught soccer for the MLS in Arizona and Los Angeles before returning to London. He is also a BAFTA member and serves on the board of the Kingston International Film Festival.

My thoughts: Felix Grey is the somewhat beleaguered Prime Minister during Edward VII’s reign. The country is in turmoil, strikes threaten to bring the mines, factories and mills to a standstill, the Opposition are demanding an election, and two members of the Lords have been kidnapped, a card with a strange symbol printed on it the only clue.

Somehow Felix is able to conduct his own investigation despite being one of the most recognisable faces around, and the police guarding Downing Street are completely oblivious. I cannot imagine any present day PM a) caring that much and b) risking themselves in such a way. He’s a very noble and brave, if a little stupid, man. 

He does have allies in the form of his friend Amelia, an Oxford professor originally from Texas, and Alfred, a young man he meets during his investigation and gives refuge to. He should however trust the police a bit more – they do know what they’re doing it turns out.

The case has links to a dark, and never forgotten, moment in British history, but is there more to it. Who is the person pulling the strings?

Clever, entertaining and well researched, I look forward to Felix and his friends carrying out more heroic investigations to protect the country and try to get it on an even keel once more.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour, but all opinions remain my own.

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Blogathon: Crucified – Lynda La Plante

The fifth book in Lynda’s brilliant Detective Jack Warr crime series.

Jack, after taking paternity leave for the birth of his son, is forced to take even more time due to emotional fatigue and depression. Jack’s wife Maggie is more than aware of Jack’s issues, attempting to persuade him to accept private medical help as he has refused any form of counselling given to officers in the Met. Jack is suffering a nightmare consuming rage. After having to deal with the lengthy horrific murder trial detailing the tragic victims of the serial killer Rodney Middleton, he is haunted by the unidentified remains of more of the killers victims.

Jack finds solace in renewing a dangerous relationship with the artist Adam Bolder. They meet in Portobello market, in a shop selling frames. The enigmatic Adam, has taken up working on fake art in an old disused school out building. The fascination of watching Adam work, the brilliance of his artistic work and the obvious criminal activity in producing these paintings enthrals Jack.

Maggie becomes equally interested in the world of fake art. Jack collecting books and watching art programs, his renewed friendship encourages him to return to work. As he settles back into the old regime at the station, a new female DCI is a force to be reckoned with. One weekend visiting Portobella market again, going to purchase some photo frames for pictures of his new son, the street is cordoned off by police crime scene officers. Ambulances and patrol cars blocking all traffic. A body has been found in the framer’s shop. The naked murder victim has had his features destroyed, and horrifically nailed to a giant cross.

The murder is not in Jack’s jurisdiction, so another team have been allocated in to lead the enquiry and attempt to identify the victim. But Jack is too involved to steer clear – is he detective or witness?

My thoughts: Jack is struggling with the aftermath of his last horrific case, even with the killer behind bars, there are still unidentified victims whose families deserve answers.

He’s also struggling with a sleep disorder that makes him cranky when awake and violent when asleep. He’s been signed off work and Maggie is redesigning their house now they have two children, to get more space. Which is driving him crazy. Both of them need to go back to work!

When he does it’s to a new boss and new cases, firstly a domestic that his new DI is a bit too invested in. But a chance encounter with a suspect from an old case, has Jack headed down a rabbit hole into the world of art forgery and the millions made each year by a network of sellers, dealers and those linking them to clients.

Getting involved in a brutal murder in a frame shop in Portobello Road draws unwanted attention to Jack, and has higher ups suspicious of him and his behaviour, especially at an art gallery. He’s now on their radar. Can he toe the line and do his job?

I really felt for Maggie, Jack pushes her patience to the limit, he’s combative and secretive, when she tries to get him to open up, he pulls away. She just wants him to be well and happy, to spend time with his family and stop keeping so many secrets.

This is probably the book that explores Jack’s family and his past the most, in that he starts remembering before he was adopted a little, and being at home he’s spending time with his children and with Maggie and Penny. It’s also where he makes a decision about his career that will change everything.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour, but all opinions remain my own.