Esther first sees Ted walking in a park in London. They lock eyes and for a fraction of a second, she feels something she’s never felt before.
She starts by reading up about his life in Canada and his work as an actor. Then she watches every interview with him online. It isn’t long before she’s joined Ted’s fan site online where she and the ‘Tedettes’ stalk his every move. When Ted gets a new celebrity girlfriend, Esther decides that things have gone far enough. She leaves her husband, takes all their savings, and buys a one-way ticket to Canada. After all, Ted might not know it yet, but they are meant to be together – he just needs a little bit of persuading.
At its heart, Esther is Now Following You is a fresh, funny and deeply affecting novel about what happens when life gets too much and what we do to cope. It combines the humour of Fleabag and Green Dot’s unattainable obsession, told with the propulsion of Baby Reindeer.
Tanya Sweeney is an Irish journalist, columnist and regular contributor to radio and TV. Her personal columns focus on a variety of subjects including parenting, pregnancy, friendship, culture, and body issues. She currently works on the Weekend magazine at the Irish Independent, and her experience working in the music, film & TV industries helped inspire her debut novel.
My thoughts: Esther becomes obsessed with an actor called Ted during a difficult and distressing time in her life, she channels all her grief and pain into the parasocial relationship in her head. Unfortunately she takes it way too far. Moving to Toronto on a whim and inserting herself into the life of Ted’s sister in a bid to get closer to him.
She’s actually a rather sweet person, is Esther, but dealing with something very difficult and running away from her problems, which I know from bitter experience never works. She doesn’t have much of a support network and that means she creates this whole other life in her head, thinking that somehow it will all be better if she and Ted were a couple.
I did want to give a shake and a talking too at times, but I also really felt for her. Things happen to us that feel way too big and scary, so we run. I completely understand and for the most part a harmless imaginary life of celebrity adjacent happiness is an idle fantasy. Just don’t do an Esther and decide to make it a reality.
Darkly comic and heartfelt, this was a really interesting and oddly enjoyable book that I would suggest avoiding if you’re dealing with anything like Esther is (content warning: child loss, stillbirth) and it’s too raw but otherwise do read this to remind yourself, if nothing else, that boundaries are important and your favourite actor doesn’t even know your name, but depending on how obsessive you are, they do know your Twitter handle.
*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour, but all opinions remain my own.
ramblingmads 