books, reviews

Book Review: The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith*

All of humanity’s unwritten books and stories are housed in a wing of Hell’s Library. In Hell but not part of it, instead the wing is under the Librarian – Claire is the current post holder and sh6es having a terrible day.

A book has escaped and she and her assistant Brevity, a former Muse, must recapture the book before it causes too much trouble.

Things are never that straightforward and soon Claire and Brevity, accompanied by a very junior demon called Leto, and pursued by a couple of angels, are hunting for a book rumoured to be written Lucifer himself.

This was a really fun read, a total romp and right up my street, as I love books set in magical libraries like this, where books and librarians are more than they appear.

The plot is clever, the characters intriguing and I had a little giggle every now and then.

If you’re a fan of the Invisible Library series by Genevieve Cogman, The Archived series by V.E. Schwab or The Chronicles of St Mary’s by Jodi Taylor you’ll enjoy this.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book with no requirement to review, all words and opinions remain my own.

books, reviews

Book Review: What We Did In The Dark – Ajay Close*

“I made what may be called a rash and foolish marriage to a man I scarcely knew.”

1904: Cathie longs for adventure. A whirlwind romance with soldier and artist Herbert Jackson offers this and more, but Herbert is violently jealous and she is soon fighting for her freedom – and her life. A fictionalised account of Catherine Carswell’s first marriage, What We Did in the Dark is a compelling portrait of a trail-blazing writer.

My thoughts:

I found this book really interesting. I hadn’t heard of Catherine Carswell, but I’ve been looking into her work after reading this. She marries the wrong man, he turns out to be a terrible person and then she has to fight for her freedom. An inspiring, brave woman, determined to make her own way and live life on her terms in an age when women were not allowed to do such things.

*I was kindly sent a copy of this book by the publisher with no requirement to review, all opinions remain by own.

blog tour, books

Blog Tour: The Great Devil War Book Two:The Die of Death – Kenneth B. Andersen

Philip’s adventures as the Devil’s apprentice have changed him—in a good way. Although he misses his friends in Hell, he has made new friends in life. But when the future of the underworld is threatened once again, Philip’s help is needed. Death’s Die has been stolen and immortality is spreading across the globe. Philip throws himself into the search—and discovers a horrible truth about his own life along the way.Goodreads Amazon

I WAS BORN IN DENMARK ON A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT IN NOVEMBER 1976 …

… and I began writing when I was a teenager. My first book was a really awful horror novel titled Nidhug’s Slaves. It didn’t get published. Luckily.

During the next 7 years, I wrote nearly 20 novels–all of which were rejected–while working as a school teacher. The rest of the time I spent writing.

In 2000 I published my debut fantasy book, The Battle of Caïssa, and that’s when things really took off. Since then I’ve published more than thirty-five books for children and young adults in genres ranging from fantasy to horror and science fiction.

My books have been translated into more than 15 languages and my series about the superhero Antboy has been adapted for film, which is available on Netflix. An animated tv series is currently in development.

A musical of The Devil’s Apprentice opened in the fall 2018 and the movie rights for the series have also been optioned.

I live in Copenhagen with my wife, two boys, a dog named Milo and spiders in the basement.

About THE GREAT DEVIL WAR: The Great Devil War was published in Denmark from 2005-2016, beginning with The Devil’s Apprentice.

Even though the story (mostly) takes place in Hell and deals with themes like evil, death and free will, it is also a humoristic tale about good and evil seen from a different perspective. A tale that hopefully will make the reader – young or old, boy or girl – laugh and think.

Welcome to the other side!

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“Why did you bring me back?” Philip asked. “And why was it so difficult?”

Mortimer’s laughter stopped abruptly.

“Two questions with the same answer,” Death said, setting his coffee mug down. His hand shook faintly, Philip noticed. “Because the reason that you were able to stay alive as long as you did is the very reason that I’ve brought you here.” He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Closed them for so long that Philip almost thought he’d fallen asleep. Then he opened his eyes again, slowly, and the gray eyes looked mournfully at Philip. “My die was stolen.”

“Your die?” Philip repeated, surprised, and automatically gazed at Mortimer’s chest, where the hundred-sided die should have hung from a silver necklace. One of the two great dice. Death’s die. The one that gave newborns their life-years. But there was no necklace. No die. “When?”

“About two weeks ago. At first, I thought I’d misplaced it, that I’d put it somewhere. I searched the entire house before I realized.”

“Realized what?” Satina asked.

“That the front door was ajar. Someone had been here. Someone had been here and had stolen my die while I slept.”

“Do you have any idea who it might be?”

Mortimer shook his head. “I have no clue. But it must be someone who knows me well. Knows my habits. I sleep just once a year, you see. On April thirty-first, when spring has arrived, Vita’s working overtime, and everything is in bloom. That’s when I get my deep sleep. You remember Vita, right Philip?”

Philip nodded. He remembered Vita very well. She was Mortimer’s sister. Philip had met her the last time he was in Hell. She was the one who brought him back to life. She was life.

Then it hit him, exactly what Mortimer had said, and he counted the months on his knuckles. January, February, March, April. No, there weren’t 31 days in April. And another thing…

“You said the die was stolen two weeks ago,” he said. “But half a year has passed since April?”

“For you, yes,” Death replied. “But time is different down here, remember.”

“Oh yeah,” Philip said, a little irritated for not figuring that out himself. Hadn’t he just determined there was no such thing as April 31st? Of course, time was different down here. Everything was different down here.

“This is a calamity!” The old man stood and began to pace the floor, shaking his head in despair. “Without my die, every child born in the world will be immortal. The consequences will be horrific for those poor people, who won’t have death to look forward to.”

“Death isn’t exactly something people look forward to, is it?” objected Philip cautiously.

Mortimer paused, staring at him. “Yes, it is,” he said in a voice verging on a snarl. “They just don’t know it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“And Lucifer said you were such a bright boy. But then again, he is the Father of Lies,” Death muttered. He moved to the window and looked out at the evening darkness as it sank swiftly across the bleak countryside. “Many people would say the same thing, Philip. That death is something terrible, a necessary evil best avoided.”

“Well… isn’t it?”

“No!” shouted Mortimer, startling both Philip and Satina. His old eyes sparkled. “I’m humanity’s greatest fear because there’s no greater fear than that of death. But that’s not the way it should be! The truth is, people don’t realize just how much they should appreciate me. Death isn’t an unfortunate consequence of life; on the contrary, Death is what makes life worth living. Men and women value only that which they might lose. Don’t you see? Without death, life is uninteresting and utterly meaningless.”

Philip didn’t entirely understand what Mortimer was saying. And yet… maybe he did. “It’s like what Lucifer said. Without evil there is no good. You can’t have one without the other. And the same goes for life and death?”

“Exactly!” Mortimer thrust out his arms. “Without death, the joy of life is killed by life itself! And that’s not even the worst of it. How would the world look in just fifty years? Think about all those poor wretches who’ve been seriously injured, but whose heart continues to beat. Victims of traffic accidents, of earthquakes, fires, floods. Terrible, terrible! The world would be populated by living corpses who wish for nothing more than the peace that comes with death, but their wishes would never be fulfilled. Can you imagine that?”

Satina said nothing, but Philip had to swallow twice. Yes, he could imagine it. He could see it all too clearly, and he could feel the nausea burbling in his gut at the frightening scenario Death described.

“When you roll your die,” Philip said, “what happens exactly?”

“That’s a huge question,” Death said, gazing deeply into his eyes. “Can your mind handle the answer?”

“Try me.”

“When the die is cast, the sand begins to run.”

Philip glanced at Satina, who shook her head to show she didn’t understand either. “What do you mean?”

Mortimer stepped slowly toward him. Shadows covered his face like a black spiderweb. His eyes were concealed in darkness.

“Are you afraid, Philip?” he asked. His voice was dry as the fire crackling in the woodstove. “Are you afraid of death?”

Philip’s first impulse was to nod. Because he was afraid of Death, afraid of this odd, ancient man who’d been around since the origins of life, who had seen civilizations rise and fall, who had seen so many ghastly things that it had snuffed out the light in his eyes. But he surprised himself by shaking his head. “No. I’m not afraid. I’m already dead.”

Mortimer seemed to consider this response carefully. Then his mouth twisted into a wry smile.

“Come along,” he said. “I will show you something no human being has ever seen.”

Organised by R&R Book Tours

blog tour, books, reviews

Blog Tour: Isadorn the Unicorn and the Sloppy Dragon – Angela Castillo & Indira Zuleta*

What’s a frustrated unicorn to do? Dunfer the Dragon has just moved into the cave next door, and Isadorn’s perfect world has been turned upside down.
Not only does he make growling noises all day and night, he’s just burned down her favorite rosebush! Can Isadora figure out how to talk to Dunfer about her problems? Or will her magical unicorn world be ruined forever?

My thoughts:

This is sweet and adorable, brightly coloured illustrations complement the storyline and engage the reader.

As well as being a lovely story about making friends and resolving conflict, it features some discussion points to prompt a conversation with your youngster after reading.

I passed this to a friend with a small child to get their thoughts. My friend’s daughter (aged 3) said it was “pretty, and good because the unicorn and the dragon made friends” – which is excellent feedback.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour but all opinions remain my own.

books, reviews

Book Tour: The 24 Hour Cafe – Libby Page*

Welcome to the café that never sleeps.

Day and night, Stella’s Café opens its doors to the lonely and the lost, the morning people and the night owls. It’s a place where everyone is always welcome, where life can wait at the door.

Meet Hannah and Mona: best friends, waitresses, dreamers. They love working at Stella’s – the different people they meet, the small kindnesses exchanged. But is it time to step outside and make their own way in life?

Come inside and spend twenty-four hours at Stella’s Café, where one day might just be enough to change your life . . .

My thoughts:

Having read the author’s previous book, The Lido, I was looking forward to this as that book was light and heartwarming, with its story of intergenerational friendship and community.

This is a different kind of community, and at its heart is a long running friendship between two waitresses, who are also a dancer and a musician.

Hannah and Mona are flatmates, and have been for some time, they work in the cafe, watching its customers come and go, wondering about the lives they lead, while trying to get their creative careers off the ground.

We get little snippets of the lives of their regulars, and new faces as they come in, order their food and take a moment to sit and savour the day.

But it is Hannah and Mona’s book really, and their friendship’s history is told in the women’s reflections as they stand behind the counter in the cafe, across a single 24 hours.

I really enjoyed this, I liked the central characters, I’ve known the central characters, and I thought the way their story was interwoven with the stories of the people around them was really effective and interesting. Everyone has a story, and this was a great way of demonstrating that.

This was a comforting read, reflecting real life but in a good way, reminding us that even as over time we change, some things stay the same.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour but all opinions remain my own.

adventures in post, books, Illumicrate, updates

Book Post of the Week!

Welcome to what I hope will be a regular series looking at the books that came in the post.

They fall into 3 general categories; books I’ve bought, books for blog tours, books for general review.

I’m very lucky to be sent books by publishers to review, especially advanced copies, and I do know that, but I want to share the joy of getting books in the post, it’s just the nicest thing! Books marked with a star have been gifted.

Books I Bought:

ulinl

I’ve read a couple of other books by this author and enjoyed them. This is the story of Rachel who realises on the morning of her wedding to Dan that they’re making a big mistake. Tragedy strikes and everything changes, can Rachel build a new life and make things right? There’s a dog rescue centre with adorable pooches in there too.

blood

I remember this book being everywhere on Book Twitter when it was published in hardback, so I had to nab this one in paperback. Set in 1781, an abolitionist goes missing and war hero Capt Harry Corsham is asked to investigate.

big sky

The latest Jackson Brodie sees the grizzled PI trying to settle into a routine with his son, dog and sometime girlfriend Julia.

I love the Jackson Brodie series and and really excited to read the newest one in the series. Atkinson is a fantastic writer.

Books for Blog Tours –

areuwatch*

I am intrigued by this premise – Jessica has a role on a YouTube series of vlog type videos, a sort of day in the life show, and she’s using this platform to find her mother’s killer. Will she succeed or will she become his next victim? – Blog tour post on 3rd Feb.

dead ringer*

New technology means you can use facial recognition software to find your doppelganger, and possibly meet up. Ella and Jem connect, and both want out of their lives, can they trade places? – Blog tour post 5th March.

hiddenwyndham*

The British sci-fi writer created two of the most famous stories in the genre – The Midwich Cuckoos and The Day of the Triffids. But it was a very private man – the author here has taken an interesting direction – focusing on the woman in his life, and through her, discovering him. – Blog tour post 21st Feb.

aosawa*

A Japanese murder mystery – in the 1970s 17 people are poisoned and the killer never answers to justice. The detective in charge of the case, Inspector Teru, believes there’s more to the murders and determines to find the truth. – Blog tour post 1st March.

Books to Review –

libunwrit*

Unfinished books live in the Unwritten Wing, a space in Hell, presided over by Claire, the head librarian. Her role includes keeping a close eye on restless stories and their heroes. Claire and her team must track down and escaped Hero before things go wrong.

This looks really fun and as a fan of several books about book characters coming to life and detecting librarians, it’s right up my street, I’m looking forward to reading this.

findingclara*

Historical fiction set in Nazi Germany looking at the lives of ordinary Germans at the end of the war as they attempt to rebuild their lives and atone for their sins, and those of their families.

There’s been a lot of WWII literature around at the moment, some of it good, some not so much. This premise intrigues me, the lives of Germans after the war don’t get written about much it seems, and so this is an interesting angle to look at.

thedeep*

Yetu holds the memories of her people – water-dwelling descendants of drowned pregnant African slaves. These memories are painful and torturous, so Yetu escapes the surface in search of other worlds.

This book sounds both beautiful but also dark, the history of slavery has left deep scars on many people, echoing down the years, and this is an intriguing take on exploring that legacy.

homscats*

Inspired by real events, set in war torn Syria, written by a pseudonymous journalist, the story of Sami, a young man in the streets of Homs, caring for the stray animals left behind by fleeing refugees.

This is probably going to make me cry buckets, but I think it’s important to read stories such as this, we’re so separated from the people we share this planet with, numb to horror, that these stories, real stories, need paying attention to.

atlas alone*

Earth was destroyed six months ago, living on Atlas 2, a ship following in the chem trails of the Pathfinder, Dee is drawn into a dark world of immersive reality, but people are really dying.

I’ve read two of the other books in this series – which are only loosely connected, and really enjoyed them. This is also really enjoyable and clever, a murder mystery where the person investigating might be the killer.

bellerev*

Emilie des Marais wants to be a surgeon but her mother is intent on sending her to finishing school. Annette Boucher wants more from her life and longs to be trained in magic. When the two cross paths, they swap places and soon become embroiled in a terrible war and conspiracies that threaten everything and everyone they hold dear.

I really enjoyed this book, it was clever, funny, magical and full of fantastic characters. It’s also really queer, which is right up my street. I know this hasn’t even been published yet but I already want a sequel.

wolfofoy*

Queen Talyien is struggling to hold her fractured country together, then her husband disappears, further destabilising things. Now she must find him and repair the damage done by the past.

This sounded interesting, quite traditional fantasy tropes but with the female protagonist responsible for saving things and rescuing the man.

Others –

rumer

I won this in a giveaway on Twitter hosted by the author.

Rumer Cross is the abandoned daughter of an assassin, working for a PI, when she gets kidnapped by mobsters who want a mysterious weapon, one Rumer’s mother supposedly had before she died.

Funny, violent, surprising, Rumer is a kickass reluctant heroine, forced to join forces with people she’d really rather not. It was very fun and I hope there’s a sequel coming.

drowned

In 1848 a motley crew of Danes set off to fight the Germans, not all of them will return, and those that do will be changed forever.

womanwho

The most recent Thursday Next book, which means it’s going to be funny and a bit silly and feature lots of book jokes.

My husband has started randomly bringing home books from the ‘orphan table’ at work – along with odd things including a can of WD40, extension cords and other strange bits and bobs. Luckily the books are usually pretty good.

illumicrate

Illumicrate January 2020 – this will be having it’s own post, but it contained 2 exciting new books. Infinity Son by Adam Silvera and Sisters Grimm by Menna van Praag, both of which I wanted to read so am super pleased to find them in the box.

And that’s my week in book post! Now to get on with my reading!!

blog tour, books, reviews

Blog Tour: Firewatching – Russ Thomas*

 

ONE FALSE MOVE Someone is setting fire to Sheffield. It starts with small things – dustbins and abandoned sheds so people don’t notice at first. But the calling card is there if you look for it. WILL IGNITE Soon the fires spread to offices, homes, people. The Firewatcher’s followers are growing and they have one particular blaze in mind – one that the police would do well to pay attention to. THE CITY But DS Adam Tyler is distracted by a case, one that he is unknowingly connected to. And if he can’t discover the link between the fires and himself, he will burn – along with the entire city.

Russ Thomas was born in Essex, raised in Berkshire and now lives in Sheffield. He grew up in the 80s reading anything he could get from the library, writing stories, watching large amounts of television, playing videogames, and largely avoiding the great outdoors. He spent five years trying to master playing the electronic organ and another five trying to learn Spanish. It didn’t take him too long to realise that he’d be better off sticking to the writing After a few ‘proper’ jobs (among them: pot-washer, optician’s receptionist, supermarket warehouse operative, call-centre telephonist and storage salesman) he discovered the joys of bookselling, where he could talk to people about books all day. His debut novel Firewatching is the first book in the DS Adam Tyler series.

 

My thoughts:

This was an interesting first novel, it felt like an established crime series, which is impressive. The twist at the end was clever. DS Adam Tyler is an intriguing protagonist, seasoned enough that he should know better, but naive enough that he doesn’t listen to his own advice and bumbles in too deep.

I don’t know a huge amount about arson (I’m sure you’re pleased to hear) but it makes for a refreshing change from other crime plots by adding a layer of ‘is the criminal attempting to merely cover their tracks and destroy evidence or is there something else at play here?’ that I enjoyed as a reader and as someone who always tries to solve the crime as it unfolds (I’m the same with crime shows, I get it from my dad).

I look forward to see what Russ Thomas does next, whether in this series or with a different cast of characters.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour but all opinions remain my own.

blog tour, books, reviews

Blog Tour: A Dark Matter – Doug Johnstone*

 

Dark Matter Cover .jpeg

After an unexpected death, three generations of women take over the family funeral-home and PI businesses in the first book of a brilliant, page-turning and darkly funny new series The Skelfs are a well-known Edinburgh family, proprietors of a long-established funeral-home business, and private investigators. When patriarch Jim dies, it’s left to his wife Dorothy, daughter Jenny and granddaughter Hannah to take charge of both businesses, kicking off an unexpected series of events. Dorothy discovers mysterious payments to another women, suggesting that Jim wasn’t the husband she thought he was. Hannah’s best friend Mel has vanished from university, and the simple adultery case that Jenny takes on leads to something stranger and far darker than any of them could have imagined. As the women struggle to come to terms with their grief, and the demands of the business threaten to overwhelm them, secrets from the past emerge, which change everything… It’s a compelling and tense thriller and a darkly funny, warm portrait of a family in turmoil.

 

 

Doug Johnstone is the author of ten novels, most recently Breakers (2018), which has been shortlisted for the McIlvanney Prize for Scottish Crime Novel of the Year. Several of his books have been bestsellers and award winners, and his work has been praised by the likes of Val McDermid, Irvine Welsh and Ian Rankin. He’s taught creative writing and been writer in residence at various institutions – including a funeral home – and has been an arts journalist for twenty years. Doug is a songwriter and musician with five albums and three EPs released, and he plays drums for the Fun Lovin’ Crime Writers, a band of crime writers. He’s also playermanager of the Scotland Writers Football Club. He lives in Edinburgh.

My thoughts:

This is a darkly comic tale of a family who not only bury your loved ones, but also spend their time following loved ones who’ve maybe strayed. I don’t really know how to describe the Skelfs except to say I loved this book. It made me laugh, it’s also got some touching moments. Describing it as Six Feet Under meets Private Eyes set in Scotland sort of gives you a really rough idea.

I am so excited that the second book in the series will be out later in the year too because it’s that compelling and fun, I need another dose asap!

 

A Dark Matter BT Poster .jpg

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour but all opinions remain my own.

blog tour, books, reviews

Blog Tour: The Unlikely Escape of Uriah Heep – H.G. Parry*

For his entire life, Charley Sutherland has concealed a magical ability he can’t quite control: he can bring characters from books into the real world. His older brother, Rob – a young lawyer with an utterly normal life – hopes that this strange family secret will disappear with disuse, and he will be discharged from his duty of protecting Charley and the real world from each other.

But then, literary characters start causing trouble in their city, making threats about destroying the world, and for once, it isn’t Charley’s doing. There’s someone else out there who shares his powers and it’s up to Charley and a reluctant Rob to stop them – before anyone gets to The End.

My thoughts:

I loved this book, the premise had me hooked from the start. Book characters that can be brought out of their imaginary worlds and into ours, something every reader imagines being able to do.

It’s funny, clever and hugely enjoyable. You feel for Rob and Charley, but also for their fictional friends, dragged into a world they don’t understand, trying to make sense of it all and avoid being dragged into the end papers.

I loved the Mr Darcys all living together and being rather different, based of course on readers’ perspectives, as every reader sees a character differently and wants to have their own version.

If you’re not a massive book nerd you can still find plenty here to enjoy, but as a book lover this is definitely one to read.

*I was kindly gifted a copy of this book in exchange for taking part in this blog tour but all opinions remain my own.

blog tour, books

Cover Reveal: The Celestial Assignment – Theresa Braun

Theresa Braun has a new short story coming out called, The Celestial Assignment. Here’s a sneak peek at the cover, and an excerpt from the book.

After a sudden death, Will, a misguided angel, is tasked with protecting a baby girl. Watching over her as she grows up and navigates the world appears a harsh punishment for his past failings. Can he redeem himself, or will he fall further from grace?

“I devoured this phenomenal sorrow-filled piece in one sitting, but Braun left me with so many questions I had to think about. She creates a world that’s vivid, lush and visceral, while setting the reader up for heartbreak and despair. Amazing read, can’t recommend ‘The Celestial Assignment’ enough.” –Steve Stred, author of Ritual

Goodreads Amazon

Hmmm. What’s this? Looks like Ms. Braun left her computer on and her Goodreads bio open.

This should be fun.

What can we say about Theresa? I mean other than the fact that she’s weirdly obsessed with smiley faces :-). Like, seriously obsessed >:-*. It’s kinda scary :-O.

I think she thinks she’s from Renaissance England or Venice or something. I never could figure out which one it was. (She’s really bad at doing accents.)

She likes romance novels and crime TV, which are pretty much the same thing when you think about it. Ha! Am I right?

She has a hell of a singing voice. Seriously. It’s, like, seventh circle of hell bad.

She likes editing. A lot. Just wait till she gets a load a this.

Cats. Shoes. Chips and salsa. In that order.

Yeah, that last part didn’t make sense to me either.

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You know that meme of the angel statue, its face in its hands, with the caption: “This is probably what my guardian angel looks like”? Well, that’s the only thing on the wall in this stark room meant for some 12-step spiritual garbage.

I was mystified as fuck the first time I sat here. The last thing I’d remembered was having a beer with one of my side pieces before witnessing her chuck my body into an unmarked grave. The bitch walked right through me as I grilled her about what she’d done.

Next thing I know, I transported into this very chair. Looking around the circle, I noted everyone’s arms tattooed with wings in shades matching their clothing.

“What am I doing here?” I asked, studying the new gray markings growing iridescent on my skin.

“You’re getting a new assignment,” said someone with platinum hair. His wings were the real deal, tucked at his back, and he wore a white T-shirt and white jeans.

“As opposed to what?”

“Going back to earth. That hasn’t been working.” He stared at me with his unnaturally light blue eyes. “Don’t worry, there’s a manual under your seat.”

That’s when I zoned out. The rest of them yammered on as I frantically retraced my memory for clues to why I was here. What kind of demented lunatic would make me an angel, if that’s what I was? I hadn’t even stepped one foot in a church, at least in my most recent life. That’s when it hit me I’d had more than one incarnation on earth. The mere vocabulary of it made me shiver.

***

With a jolt, my feet landed on slick linoleum, the burning odor of disinfectant and stale medicine in the air. A woman screamed in a hospital bed, her legs pried open with a sheet over them. Ugh. I’d never liked babies and had zero fatherly instincts. As the infant cried and was handed to the mother, the dad busy snapping Polaroids, I heard a whisper: “She’s your responsibility now.”

As my questions flooded in, that damned manual appeared in my hand. Annoyed the heavenly head honchos hadn’t downloaded the content into my brain, I held onto it, lest I be struck by lightning.

“Hello, Celeste,” the mother cooed to the baby.

I tapped my foot.

The irony of the name irked the shit out of me.

As a reluctant guardian angel, I figured my job involved keeping this pipsqueak’s hand off the hot stove, and her mouth away from poisons in the cabinets. Most of the time, I yawned in the periphery, especially since I was trapped in this fucking hick town somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin. Countless Crayon doodles and finger paintings were the extent of my excitement. Eventually, I rejoiced when of a few close calls at the wheel of her parents’ car gave me something to do. But then there was her painfully awkward discovery of boys. Once she inadvertently brushed this dude’s junk at a dance. Her first kiss was lame as shit. It was like being tuned into the Nickelodeon Channel. Her interactions with a new boy made me gag—they’d finish each other’s sentences and giggle like idiots. What did I do to deserve this?

This book is due to be published 14th February 2020.

Organised by R&R Book Tours